when you spent whole off day at home, most of the time you will start thinking about many things.
and mainly is life...yes, my own life.
what worse when it is the end of the year, think back...what have I done?? definitely many, but should it be more?? more as in more interesting, more happening, more meaningful...
because I spent most of my time sitting in front of laptop...
productive?? only when I go to class or internship...or when I rushing my assignments. other than that, basically I did nothing much.
did I wasted my entire 2009?? guess so...comes to think of it, what is the biggest achievement I have for this year?? I would said none, unless I consider 3 and half hours driving back to KL from Penang while raining heavily is an achievement. what about spending nearly RM50,000 to get a degree is a great achievement...ok, I have to wait till next year to achieve that. But the fees already been paid!
seriously, what did I achieved this year?? I kept asking myself again and again...the answer is none! basically I wasted 1 whole year doing a scheduled daily routine life....attended class and went home straight for almost 9 months. went to work and go home for 3 months...
there goes my 2009...did I enjoy it??? yes and no...
I hate to be alone and yet..i am alone all the time.
emo entry it is...cause I fucking hate this feeling right now. I feel guilty to myself. I feel sorry to myself. I felt so useless from time to time...
2010?? dont know what to look forward. besides getting a degree and working full time. maybe add some spice to my life, if there is any..if not, it will still be the same.
at this moment, besides my mom...I miss you the most!!! But you are already gone...
wish you could be here with me.
wish you could be here with me.ps: being too cheerful all the time really not a good thing...
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